The Copywriting Process Described as ‘Ghosts’ Characters
You know someone did Friends characters as marketeers? Like that.
With the fifth and final series of BBC’s Ghosts coming onto our screens in the autumn, I wanted to pay tribute to it.
This show has to be one of the most wonderful TV creations in the last twenty years - it’s a dreamy, childlike, only-just-past-the-watershed adult comedy about a young married couple, Alison and Mike, who inherit a dilapidated mansion called Button House, only to find that there are also eight self-centred, claustrophobic ghosts who died on the site at different points in history, who now ‘live’ there too.
Because of a near-death fall from a window during her first few days living in the house, Alison is the only one who can see and talk to them, so she is the go-between from the world of the living to the world of the dead – with totes hilair consequences.
Ghosts is so charming, funny, and somehow touching. If you haven’t watched it yet WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?
Anyway, if you’ve ever wondered, “What is a copywriter?”, and needed that question to be answered with the help of some fictional characters — some living, some dead — read on!
Kate Nilski blows a kiss to Robin off of Ghosts
The living characters
Alison – The Interpreter
Alison is a down-to-earth, eager-to-please kind of person who gets on with the ghosts at first for a quiet life, and in the end because she has grown genuinely fond of them. She likes a sing-song, a cosy time in the house and with her husband, Mike, wants to turn Button House into a hotel – much to the ghosts’ dismay. Despite being friends with the ghosts, she would like a little bit of peace and quiet to enjoy some private time with Mike every now and then…
In copy terms, Alison is the one who appreciates a good bit of prose but can also see the SEO keywords in any web copy too – she is the one who can witness both the real world and the world behind the smoke screen. It can get a bit overwhelming at times, but it’s this double skill that leads to all the wonderful adventures!
Mike – The General Public
Mike is Alison’s husband, an uncomplicated man who doesn’t see the ghosts and generally would rather they weren’t around so he can get on with his life. He likes DJing, sinking a few pints and really wants to make a go of the hotel with his wife – even if that doesn’t always work out.
In the world of copy, Mike is the one who can’t see the SEO keywords and doesn’t really care how they got there but relies on the copy to get him from A to B – and hopefully splash out for a spontaneous purchase of C. He is the every-person who you want to aim your copy at. Do it well and you’ll make friends with him for life.
The dead characters
Kitty – The Creative
Kitty is a repressed, naive Georgian noblewoman, who skips about the grounds of Button House, gazing at everything with childlike wonder – a butterfly, the sun, clouds, her new best friend Alison – and she loves them all dearly.
From a copywriting perspective, Kitty is the one who brought you to this job in the first place. Your love of words began as a child and you always wanted to have a sleepover with it, telling it all your innermost secrets and banishing boys from the whole thing (ha, right).
Because she is such a dreamer, Kitty is easy to overlook. She may be wishy-washy, but don’t take her inquisitive joy for granted. She is the one who will keep everything afloat, even when you want to give up. The one who keeps your brain innocent and full of… oooh, look, a bee!
Mary – The Fear
Poor Mary was burned alive, after being incorrectly accused of being a witch in the Middle Ages. Her death has haunted her whole afterlife and she can’t bring herself to talk about the events surrounding it without getting fretful – understandably! When not fretting, she loves to explain at length how to milk a cow, how to weave a basket that is five potatoes high as well as extolling the virtues of fennel.
Mary is the dose of fear you get at the start of every new project. She is the one who will tell you this can’t be done and you’d be better off picking root vegetables for a living instead. But she means well, and you soon realise that is just her nature – if you tell her everything will be alright and then give it your best shot despite her, you will both be happy in the end!
The Captain – The Organiser
The Captain (one of my darling favourite characters in this show) is a secretly gay Second World War army captain, who loves to organise his housemates and insists on promptness and order at all times. He loves a devastating weapon and watches the DVDs about Hitler that Alison puts on to keep him quiet. He also loves a fabulous wedding, it turns out.
The Cap is the one who gets you to sit down and do the ruddy work, man. No dilly-dallying, just put your best foot forward, think ‘best of British’ and do your jolly well best, no matter what trials and tribulations life may be throwing at you elsewhere. Then once you’re done, you are free to be at ease in the officers’ mess to enjoy a tipple of sherry, what?
Lady Fanny – The Rule Enforcer
Fanny is an etiquette-obsessed Edwardian lady who picks at Alison for not being ladylike enough. She believes in the correct cutlery for different occasions, the sanctity of marriage (despite her husband murdering her because she caught him having a threesome with two men) and she is also an ancestor of Alison’s, defending the purity of the Button name for all its worth.
When it comes to copy, Fanny is your stickler for grammar – the voice in your ear who reminds you it’s I before E except after C, that you never end a sentence with a preposition and that you should never use a colloquialism if a formal, proper word can be used.
She may be annoying, but she comes in handy when it comes to checking your work over for spelling errors, and sometimes even helps with the flow and the meaning of your copy. The best way to deal with her is to politely listen, smile and nod, then chuck a few expletives in there when she’s not looking.
Robin – The Gut Feeling
Robin is a true one-off – a caveman who lived and died on the site of the house before bricks and mortar were even invented. Originally his name was ‘Ro’ but it’s been modernised by his current housemates. He is a man of simple pleasures: curling up by the fire for a snooze, making Alison jump, and making up tall tales for his own entertainment. However, he is surprisingly good at chess and because of his long afterlife, can be quite the philosopher.
In your copywriting career, Robin is the gut feeling; he is the one that keeps things real. If all else fails, go with what feels good. You might see blue squiggly lines under your copy because you can’t describe a team (singular) as ‘they’ (plural), but sometimes you have to make things flow and to hell with the rules. And if you need to use the word ‘bum’, use it. It’s that simple.
Julian – The PR Barometer
Julian is a slippery, perverted MP who died with no trousers on in a sex romp gone wrong in the early nineties. He is selfish, devious and unscrupulous. If he could pinch Alison’s bottom, he would on a daily basis. Sometimes he can make objects in the home move with one ghostly finger if he concentrates hard enough, but usually, he thinks it’s not worth the effort.
However slimy Julian is, when you are copywriting you can channel him for what I’ll call the PR test because he is the one who will be able to put a great spin on everything. Not that you want to go too far in making things sound too fantastical, or say something that is a dangerous lie, but if you can use some of Julian’s charm to pop a bit of public-pleasing polish on your writing, then feel free. Just don’t hang around him for too long!
Thomas – The Poet
Ah, Thomas Thorne, the greatest romantic poet of his time – or so he would have you believe. Emotional, dramatic, completely in love with Alison, he would do anything for love (and yes, he would do that). His work is often flowery and forced, but on occasion, when he lets himself relax, he can be very poetic indeed.
Thomas provides you with your extra sprinkling of fairy dust at the end of the writing process; he is your reference to a thesaurus, your second glance at an ordinary word that could be made into something so much more… sexy. But take his guidance for a few moments and then run, just in case he ensnares you in his poetic web of wondrous words.
Pat – The Favourite Teacher
Aww, lovely, lovely Pat. Patrick Butcher: the unfortunate scout leader who was shot dead in 1984 by a bow and arrow that he had just handed to one of his scouts. He is kind and generous and when he was alive, loved nothing more than a fish supper, a can of Watney’s and his wife, Carol who was secretly bonking his mate under his nose.
Pat is your favourite teacher from school who sparked your love of writing all those years ago. He encouraged you, laughed at your silly stories and helped you enter competitions to win the equivalent of your writing badge. You will always picture him in your mind when you need encouragement, especially when you feel like you just can’t hit the bullseye (sorry, Pat mate).
So, there we have it
You now have the secret to the copywriting process: channel a few dead fictional characters and you will be writing your best copy in no time. Just kidding. Make sure you tap into all of your areas of expertise, keep your instincts sharp, remember who your audience is and be the medium between them and your subject.
Do you have any unusual pals who join you during your writing process? Let me know over on Twitter or Facebook!
Failing that, go and watch Ghosts now on the BBC iPlayer.